i hate the neologism “partner” for “person i’m dating”. i have no intention of being a cowboy and nobody will ever be a cowboy to me.
speak for yourself, slim. some of us cowpoke are lookin’ for the right partner to call our own… [twangs acoustic guitar softly as i stare towards the twinkling night sky] don’t see many of them stars where you’re from, eh, city boy? nah. didn’t think so.
ALL I DID WAS PAUSE NETFLIX SO I COULD GO GET OREOS IM HAVING A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
From now on i’ll only accept anon hate in morse code
You better watch your fucking tone or i’m calling the cops
does anybody else legitimately worry about how they’re going to share a bed with their partner when they’re older? like buddy i need all the blankets to make a burrito and then i need to throw them off of me dramatically in the middle of the night and lie spread-eagled across the entire bed how is this going to work
a hundred times i wish i would have told you I Love You